Our amygdala is the intergrative centre for emotions, motivation and emotional behavior. It’s main role is to regulate emotions such as fear and aggresion.
Fear
Imagine that you are pouring hot water into your cup and you accidentally spilled some of it. The immediate reaction would be to avoid being scalded as we know that we would be in pain if the hot water touches us. That reaction is fear and it was activated because we have an amygdala.
Aggresion
According to Science Daily, it was shown that the amygdala has been shown to be an area that causes aggression. When the amygdala is stimulated, aggresive behaviors were presented and when there were lesions found in this area, the individuals’ aggresion and competitive drive was greatly reduced.
Is it possible for someone to have no ALMONDS?
I came upon a book by Won-Pyung Sohn – Almonds, where she wrote about a boy who had a hard time feeling emotions. After a brain scan, it was revealed that he was born with a condition called Alexithymia.
Although the boy did have almonds, but his almonds were not as developed. He was often called “fearless” and was unable to understand why people did certain things. If he fell down and hurt himself, he would appear unfaze. It was especially hard for others to understand how he could possibly look so blank when he witnessed his grandmother and mother being shot right in his face.
Yes, it is possible for someone to survive with a faulty almond or even with no almonds (I’m not sure if there are such cases) but they would definitely need to learn a lot to survive in this world. For instance, learning to read others’ faces to see what they are feeling and trying to express and how to respond in different situations.
Can we better hone our ALMONDS?
Yes definitely!
Ask yourself: Is your emotions controlling you or are you in control of your emotions?
If your emotions are controlling you, what can you do to better manage it?
Stop and label
Think and reframe
Engage in a mood booster
Practice your emotional regulation skills
Here is a scenario for us to better picture how to utilize STEP.
You are tight on your deadlines and your colleague beside you is chattering non-stop while you are trying to rush your work by the end of the day. You feel the immense need to shout at him/ her to shut it so you can do your work peacefully.
Stop and label
Stop yourself from acting and take a deep breath (box breathing – 4s in, 4s hold, 4s out, 4s hold)
Where are you feeling your emotions?
Increased breathing rate?
Tightness in your head / headache?
Clenching of jaws / hands?
Identify this emotion you are feeling and keep in mind that it’s okay to be feeling more than 1 emotion.
Am I angry / annoyed?
Am I frustated?
Am I anxious?
Think and reframe
Our emotions affect the way we perceive events and in this scenario, as we are anxious about our work and also getting increasingly annoyed by the colleague we might assume that the colleague is being super annoying and is trying to get us off our work.
Consider the emotional filter you’re looking at the world through. Then, reframe your thoughts to develop a more realistic view.
The easist way to gain a new perspective is to step back and ask yourself “What would I say to a friend who is experiencing this problem?” When we answer that question, it would take some of the emotion out of the equation, leaving us to think more rationally.
Engage in a mood booster
When you’re in a bad mood, you’re likely to engage in activities that keep you in that state of mind.
Most of us would either isolate ourselves, scroll through our phones or complain to our friends but these are actually the typical go-to bad behaviors we indulge in.
Instead, we need to take postive actions if we want to feel better. List down the things that would make you feel happy and do these things when you are in a bad mood.
Examples of mood boosters:
Go for a walk – tell your colleague you need to get some stretches after working at a desk for a period of time
Listen to uplifting music
Meditate or practice mindfulness
Go for a run or exercise!
Practice your emotional regulation skills
Managing our emotions is no simple feat and it takes time and practice for us to get better at it. We are not born perfect but we can be a better version of ourselves if we are aware of our weaknesses and try to improve on them.
The more time and attention we spend on regulating our emotions, the mentally stronger we will become. With that, we will also gain confidence in our ability to handle discomfort while also noting that we can make healthy choices that can shift our mood.
In a nutshell (pun intended)
Everyone and anyone can become better at regulating their emotions. Just like any other skill, managing our emotions requires practice and dedication.
We certainly do not wish to regret on our decisions or fall out on someone from our action or words we said out of anger or frustrations. Always remember STEPS – Stop, Think, Engage, Practice.
Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which to surf.
Jonatan Martensson
Corlissa Seah, Counsellor & Founder of Vibe Check Practice Providing online therapy to support mental health and well-being
Vibe Check Practice 
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