Vibe Check Practice

A wise man once said, “there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, keep your head up and continue fighting!” But there is something the wise man did not tell you, how long more should you continue holding on/ walking to see that light?

Well, instead of questioning how long more, why not say this to yourself: “I’m gonna stride down there and light it up myself.”

Why our thoughts matter

The funny and weird thing about our mind is that when we start thinking about something, our train of thoughts starts running wild. For instance, if I were to ask you to think about polar bears, what would be your first thought?

Polar bears > Antartica > Zoo > Ice caps melting > Penguins > Seals > Global Warming… and the list goes on and on. Before I even mentioned about polar bears, would you even think about polar bears and the rest of the above mentioned? NO.

Let’s put it back to your current stressor/ struggle you are having right now, if we think about the problem, most probably our train of thoughts would run again. You would start to feel overwhelmed, emotions start to rile up and bam, all the motivation for the project is gone. When we first started off with the project, we feel super excited about it but when the problem comes, we start to become disorientated by the negative thoughts that feed off each other.

Now, I’m not trying to advocate avoid the problem here, but, we can pause and try to look at the problem from another perspective.

Notice your thinking patterns

1. All or Nothing
   1. Are you using words like “my boss is NEVER going to understand me” or “these issues ALWAYS comes to me”?
2. Are you overgeneralizing the issue?
   1. After an encounter with a rude sales person, you assume that ALL sales person are rude.
3. Mental filtering
   1. Filtering the good and focusing only the negatives
4. Disqualify the positives
   1. Think that positive events are flukes
5. Jumping to conclusions
6. Personalization
   1. Having the tendency to blame yourself or others
7. Emotional Reasoning
   1. Considering your emotions about a situation as evidence rather than objectively looking at the facts
8. Labeling and Mislabeling
   1. Habitually placing labels that are often inaccurate or negative on themselves and others
9. Should statements
10. Magnification and minimization
    1. Placing a stronger emphasis on negative events and downplaying the positive ones
    2. Catastrophizing : imagines and then expects the worst possible scenario

Reframing our thoughts

Once you have noticed your thoughts, its time to do the work! Let’s start to be aware of it!

Be mindful of your thoughts and treat it as though you are an observer. You can practice mindfulness which can help you to learn how to quiet your mind and examine your thoughts. Once you become more of an observer, it’s easier to notice your thoughts rather than remaining caught up in them.

Next step: Challenge your thoughts!

Ask yourself:

• Are the things you’re telling yourself even true?
•  What are some other ways to interpret the same set of events?
• Have I confused a thought with a fact?
• Is my judgment based on the way I feel instead of facts?
• What would I tell a friend if he/she had the same thought?

One final step: Change your thoughts into POSITIVE thoughts

One reframing trick we can practice is: when we are looking at something negative, see if you can change your self talk to use less strong and less negative emotion. When viewing stressful situations, see if you can view it as a challenge versus a threat.

Try to look for the “gift” in each situation and try to see if you can view your stressors/ problems on the more positive edge of reality: see them in a way that still fits the facts of your situation, but that is less negative and more optimistic and positive.

Reframing our thoughts can play a big impact on our experience with the stressor/ situation as changing the way we view our life can truly change our life.

Final thoughts

To those struggling out there, you are not alone. Reach out to your friends or you can drop me an email/ comment, we are always here for you. You are strong and you can overcome this!

YOU GOT THIS!

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Christopher Robins, Winnie the Pooh

Corlissa Seah, Counsellor & Founder of Vibe Check Practice
Providing online therapy to support mental health and well-being

Book an appointment with us using this link!