Vibe Check Practice

We all know how it is when the lines between our personal and professional lives get all mixed up. That’s why it’s so important to set clear personal boundaries – it’s not just a self-help buzzword, it’s a vital part of looking after our mental health. Boundaries are there to help us. They keep us safe and help us to feel at peace. They help us to manage our time, our emotions and our personal space.

So, what are personal boundaries, then?

Personal boundaries are the things that make us feel safe and comfortable around other people. They show us how to let others treat us, how to react to how others behave, and how much of ourselves we’re willing to share.

According to experts at Fort Hays State University, “boundaries help individuals determine where their responsibility ends and where another’s begins”

7 Key Types of Personal Boundaries

Physical boundaries

These relate to personal space and physical touch. We all have different comfort levels, and that’s totally okay. What feels fine to one person might feel invasive to another. Hence, it’s important to respect each other’s personal space, so that everyone can feel safe and secure.

Emotional boundaries

Emotional boundaries involve recognizing and respecting your own feelings and those of others. They prevent emotional manipulation and enmeshment.

• The Mindful Center mentioned that “individuals are accountable for their own emotional responses, while others are responsible for theirs”.

Intellectual boundaries

These boundaries are there to protect your thoughts and ideas. Intellectual boundaries are crossed when someone belittles or dismisses your viewpoints.

• According to experts at Fort Hays State University, healthy relationships require respecting each other’s right to think and feel differently.

Sexual boundaries

These define your comfort levels with sexual touch, conversations, and behavior. Consent, communication, and mutual respect are key components.

Material boundaries

These involve your possessions and financial assets – it’s about setting limits on what you’re willing to share and under what conditions.

• You have the right to say no when someone asks to borrow something you’re not comfortable lending.

Time boundaries

Time is a limited resource, and having boundaries can help you make sure you’re using it in a way that feels right for you. If you find yourself overcommitting or not saying no, you might end up feeling burned out.

Spiritual/ Religious boundaries

These protect your beliefs and spiritual practices. Everyone has the right to their own faith and spiritual identity without judgment or coercion.

Why Boundaries Matter for Mental Health

If we don’t set boundaries, we might end up feeling resentful, burned out, anxious, and dependent on others. On the other hand, setting clear boundaries can do wonders for your self-esteem, give you more autonomy, and create room for meaningful, healthy connections.

A 2021 study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found something really interesting: people who set healthy boundaries were much less likely to feel emotionally exhausted or burned out.

How to Start Setting Boundaries?

• Know Your Limits: Reflect on what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed.
• Be Clear and Direct: Use “I” statements to communicate needs (“I need some alone time after work”).
• Start Small: Set small boundaries and build confidence gradually.
• Stay Consistent: Reinforcing boundaries helps others respect them.
• Respect Others’ Boundaries: It’s a two-way street.

Boundaries are not barriers; they’re there to help you build better relationships and feel healthier. As we navigate complex personal and professional roles, knowing and enforcing our boundaries allows us to thrive rather than just survive.

Hey, whatever you’re doing out there, whether it’s reclaiming time, asserting emotional autonomy, or simply saying no without feeling any guilt, know that you’re doing an amazing job of looking after yourself.

You cannot set boundaries and take care of other people’s feelings at the same time. You are not being mean; you are being honest.

Melody Beattie

Corlissa Seah, Counsellor & Founder of Vibe Check Practice
Providing online therapy to support mental health and well-being

Book an appointment with us using this link!