Why We Feel the Urge to ‘Fix Our Lives’ at the End of the Year

Every late-November, a familiar feeling creeps in.
Suddenly you’re evaluating your entire life as if you’re submitting some invisible report card.

“Why haven’t I achieved more?”
“Do I need a better routine?”
“Is it too late to turn this year around?”

If this is you — you’re not alone, and you’re not failing.
There’s real psychology behind this emotional weight we feel at the end of the year.

Let’s unpack it together, gently.

We Want a ‘Clean Slate’ — The Fresh Start Effect

Researchers call this the Fresh Start Effect — the motivation boost we feel around “temporal landmarks” such as birthdays, Mondays, and especially New Year’s Day.

These moments make us feel like we can separate our “past self” from a better “future self.”

Year-end is the mother of all fresh starts.
It triggers thoughts like:

“A new me is coming — but only if I fix things now.”
“Next year will be different.”
“I need to sort out my life before the reset.”

Social Comparison Intensifies at Year-End

Social comparison is a natural human tendency. But near the end of the year, it intensifies.

Why?

Because online spaces get flooded with:

“My 2025 recap!”
Promotions, engagements, highlight reels
Reflections, gratitude posts, milestones

When everyone is summarizing their year, your brain starts summarizing your own.
And comparison rarely feels kind.

Leon Festinger’s Social Comparison Theory explains that humans naturally evaluate themselves based on others.

Reflection Season Can Turn Into Self-Criticism

Year-end reflection can be healthy… but it can also be heavy.

We tend to remember what we didn’t do more vividly than what we did — something known as the negativity bias.

So instead of:
“I learned, rested, survived, adapted,”
your mind goes to:
“I didn’t accomplish enough.”

You’re not falling short — your brain is simply wired to spotlight the gaps first.

The Productivity Pressure Peaks

Culturally, we romanticize “ending the year strong”, which can translate into:

“Fix everything by December.”
“Turn the year around.”
“Prove you didn’t waste time.”

But neuroscience research on burnout shows that constant urgency decreases motivation and increases anxiety.
The more pressure we feel, the harder it becomes to think clearly — let alone reinvent our entire lives.

Transitions Trigger a Desire for Control

Transitions — like moving from one year into the next — activate our brain’s desire for certainty.

If the year felt chaotic, unplanned, or unpredictable, your mind tries to compensate by planning, fixing, and reorganizing everything at once.

It’s a quiet way of saying:
“I want next year to feel safer.”

That urge doesn’t mean you’re behind — it means you’re human and craving stability.

What Do We Actually Need Instead?

Realistic, gentle expectations
- You don’t need to reinvent yourself before January.
Small, meaningful adjustments
- Small changes are more sustainable than drastic resets.
Reflection that is honest, not harsh
- Ask yourself:
  - “What supported me this year?”
  - “What drained me?”
  - “Who helped me grow?”
Permission to rest and not rush
- Rest is a strategy, not a setback.
Compassion for the version of you who got here
- You survived things you never talk about.
- You kept going through seasons that tested you.
- You don’t owe perfection to anyone — including yourself.

A Softer Way to End the Year

If you take nothing else from this article, let it be this:

You are not meant to finish the year flawlessly.
You are meant to finish it human.

You can carry unfinished goals into January.
You can bring your questions, your messiness, your in-progress growth.
Nothing resets at midnight — and that’s okay.

Your life doesn’t need fixing.
It just needs kindness.

Your worth isn’t measured by how perfectly you end the year — but by how gently you continue to show up for yourself.

Corlissa Seah, Counsellor & Founder of Vibe Check Practice
Providing online therapy to support mental health and well-being

Book an appointment with us using this link!